Boys are making me fucking crazy, but I'll be in Boston on Sunday and none of it will matter. Then it'll just be alone working working and nothing else. Sounds kinda sad but theres nothing that makes me happier than working. Packing is really stressful especially when I've been feeling sensitive all I want to do is lay down. 

skimming the tops of tall trees it all comes down to a word

sonic youth rules for every one of these crazy anxious moods where i want to fuck up my relationship with everyone. Kelley cut my hair, its a really great haircut . Im getting used to not having a boyfriend and not having many friends by my side. Im ready for boston.

update: got a lot of new tie dye, found a german shep whos name is misha, made a garden, bought lavender seeds, got a tan finally, found theory shoes for 30 bucks, and got a haircut.

so funny

i love it!

okay day

coffee and barefoot contessa in bed

I have been thikning so much i can barely sleep everynight. I am excited for the Tufts part of going to smfa. I want to study archeology and ecology. I kind of don't want to be affiliated with art school its so all the same since i was in 9th grade I've been in art school its all very closed off from the world of knowlage. Theres so much else to know and we can't be exposed to it because were doing "art" but art dosent mean youre painting or drawing or making performances all day.

blah blah blah blah, I can't tell you how much I think about this. I got my packet for SAI I'm looking at Florence and Rome. I hope i can get a job to save for the plane tickets. 

Thinking

I dont think I can repair the damage done on my hair. Not caring for it for months pretty much deminishes the chances of ever have silky healthy hair again. I combed one side but the other side doesn't deserve any work or pain. I think I'm just going to cut it I don't deserve long luscious hair if I can't take care of it. 

I Bought some "value beads" for 3 bucks to make a chain for my new camera. I think I love them now, I'm not sure what else I can bead without seeming like a cat lady or 5 year old me.

I bought some really neat fabric. Its funny because I chose each print exclusively for it's own look without considering the others and they all came together matching and looking well together. I am making printed shirts and a quilt for david.

oh, i hate you

I feel angry and confused again. about where i am where im going about u about me. What else is new? I'm getting use to feeling like this. I use to be so happy alone not caring about anyone but my work and growth. 

I developed a roll of film and they didnt come out very  clear but i like them. I may make something out of them besides the study of time and life.

now that i think about the words time and life, 3 years at smfa dosen't look so bad.