muchas palabras

2010-03-26T01:31:00.001-07:00

GO TO MY NEW BLOG :)

http://line-x-12-cube.blogspot.com/

never thought the day would come

2009-12-07T20:06:00.000-08:00

where i actually hate him.

something is wrong

2009-11-19T07:30:00.000-08:00

i dont understand myself, i go to art school for 4 years do art love art go to design college hate design still do art finally get to an art college and do design. i am design among the art and art among the design. UGH NOONE UNDERSTANDS ME I JUST WANT TO DIE, MOM.

FUCK MY WHITE CUBES AND LIGHT SPACE TIME THEORIES AND PHYSICS OF THE WORLD PRESENTATIONS AND REPRESENTATIONS.

I feel like im just always going to be lost somwhere between the idea of then and now and the people and place around me but theres noone to blame but the naturalness of it all. I love the darling people who talk me through my art/brain insanity, sometimes not understadning but still listening to me and making me feel like somehow i will understand what compels me to do the things i do or think and make the things i think or make. There is nowhere to go but up, it has to go that way. I cant slip and pretend i want to paint because i know thats not true and i think this is true of all things like painting and making pretty things because the day i left is the day i didnt look back into painting or making personal shit about emotional automatism and people in places that made them walk on the line between crazy and normal or what is normal?

What I think is that i think i dont know.

Fuck boston and school. I just want to live as a horticulturalist sometimes but even that will probably make me draw or think about manipulation in nature and be crazy and unsure that it was the right decision. AND what makes me think architecture is right for me... maybe all of this is about architecture?!!?! wahhhhhhhhhhhh whats wrong with me!

sigh

2009-11-14T01:15:00.001-08:00

How I fucking loved that boy. Now its all thought and no feel, things change. 20 is going to be weird. There is never any certainty, I recently learned..

There has to be something better for me. I can never settle, things have to be harder and better and more intense. I take this very seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qsk8QQj5Nrc

theres something starting dont know why

2009-10-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling really emotional lately, I'm living in my head in my unclear cloudy head all i hear are my thoughts. Some new work has come out, I can't seem to concentrate on things I need to absorb. When i get home i just want to sleep until the sun comes up and I can feel ready to try again.

I get really hyper when i see people but i dont want to talk to them at the same time, I dont know what it is. Or i speak to people very animated but its not because I want to speak to THAT person but because I needed some kind of contact. Nothing is particular with anyone here.

I miss being in a relationship, I miss new york coffee, new york mornings. It's like the time of year for letting go. Of all of it. My life in new york my friends my everything hhytyh5e6hertgfdaeghtbhrehhhhhhh hyheyh6hw44wthjklop

LONG TIME

2009-10-03T19:14:00.000-07:00

Wellll I relocated to boston i go to smfa now. ive been doing alot of new work right now im kind of sick and dizzy i cant think straight. its kind of hard to avoid thikning in fragments when im all cloudy in my head.

I live here and not there.

I am tired of his excuses

i dont want to talk to many people

i dont want to talk to people

im not sure that i care about the same things

my finger is going backwards in healing

Ive been working on performance/ architecture/ drawing/ reinvention stuff

2009-08-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

:)

2009-08-18T18:08:00.000-07:00

yera loser and im ovar it

grace said:

2009-08-07T22:25:00.000-07:00

be peaceful. that helps me so much.

be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful be peaceful.

xoxo 2 grace

i betur run

2009-08-07T15:11:00.000-07:00

I've felt so much too quickly. I'm sorry blogger I don't have new work to show. (edit: I've been going to a stupid club only to get harassed for being sensitive) I also don't have a scanner to scan the new research I've done. I do, however, have new interests. I better leave Miami before this weird urge gets to me and I forget what it is I've always really wanted. Remember remember remember! Moving to Boston Sunday morning, bye Miami. I wish everyone here a good rest of summer and good luck on everyones fall endeavors, peace dudes.

piece from 2008 an exploration in senior year of high school I did exploring nature within nature.

Asexual and sexual plant reproduction ( new interest 2009)

- andrea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUDCEzfPxw4

never again

2009-08-06T11:53:00.000-07:00

no more 5am nights

no

2009-08-04T19:39:00.000-07:00

Boys are making me fucking crazy, but I'll be in Boston on Sunday and none of it will matter. Then it'll just be alone working working and nothing else. Sounds kinda sad but theres nothing that makes me happier than working. Packing is really stressful especially when I've been feeling sensitive all I want to do is lay down.

skimming the tops of tall trees it all comes down to a word

2009-07-24T22:02:00.001-07:00

sonic youth rules for every one of these crazy anxious moods where i want to fuck up my relationship with everyone. Kelley cut my hair, its a really great haircut . Im getting used to not having a boyfriend and not having many friends by my side. Im ready for boston.

update: got a lot of new tie dye, found a german shep whos name is misha, made a garden, bought lavender seeds, got a tan finally, found theory shoes for 30 bucks, and got a haircut.

so funny

2009-07-11T00:29:00.000-07:00

i love it!

okay day

2009-07-04T22:11:00.001-07:00

coffee and barefoot contessa in bed

2009-07-01T10:38:00.000-07:00

I have been thikning so much i can barely sleep everynight. I am excited for the Tufts part of going to smfa. I want to study archeology and ecology. I kind of don't want to be affiliated with art school its so all the same since i was in 9th grade I've been in art school its all very closed off from the world of knowlage. Theres so much else to know and we can't be exposed to it because were doing "art" but art dosent mean youre painting or drawing or making performances all day.

blah blah blah blah, I can't tell you how much I think about this. I got my packet for SAI I'm looking at Florence and Rome. I hope i can get a job to save for the plane tickets.

Thinking

2009-06-27T13:08:00.001-07:00

I dont think I can repair the damage done on my hair. Not caring for it for months pretty much deminishes the chances of ever have silky healthy hair again. I combed one side but the other side doesn't deserve any work or pain. I think I'm just going to cut it I don't deserve long luscious hair if I can't take care of it.

I Bought some "value beads" for 3 bucks to make a chain for my new camera. I think I love them now, I'm not sure what else I can bead without seeming like a cat lady or 5 year old me.

I bought some really neat fabric. Its funny because I chose each print exclusively for it's own look without considering the others and they all came together matching and looking well together. I am making printed shirts and a quilt for david.

oh, i hate you

2009-06-23T13:22:00.000-07:00

I feel angry and confused again. about where i am where im going about u about me. What else is new? I'm getting use to feeling like this. I use to be so happy alone not caring about anyone but my work and growth.

I developed a roll of film and they didnt come out very clear but i like them. I may make something out of them besides the study of time and life.

now that i think about the words time and life, 3 years at smfa dosen't look so bad.

more writings

2009-06-21T01:30:00.000-07:00

i am not affiliated with any group

i am alone

i have no experience

2009-06-20T16:53:00.000-07:00

update:

bf :gone to nyc
me :here alone nothing to do
me :missing him feeling like i knew id feel

me: should be doing work art something

me: new camera
me :new bags
me: lonely

me: want david
me: gonna go crazy without him

2009-06-10T16:04:00.001-07:00

I remember 2 summers ago David left miami for new york and i cried for weeks because i was so in love and eventually we broke up. And now it's happening again, hes leaving for new york and im staying here and then we are not going to meet again for a while. I feel emotional today about it because im back in miami in the same place doign the same things with the same weather.

I woke up in the middle of the night with back and stomach pain chills and nausea and couldnt get out of bed until 3pm terrible emotional day. Im okay now it was just my period. I hate talking about periods. whatevur

heath cliff

2009-06-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

This song brings back the weirdest memories of fall semester in nyc. I can't help but feel the same way emotionally when i listen to kate bush, i hate that. I can just remember my stomach flipping.

I am feeling much lighter about the idea of transitioning my confused life in nyc to being in boston. I can take paper making which is really exciting since I've wanted to do that for a long time and electronic sculpture classes :) :) :) which is even more .i dont want to be let down by unmotivated lazy classmates though, i hear thats how it works over there. I also want to tattoo on my body "architecture grad school" because I dont want to get lost and forget what i have learned in nyc// or what I learned I wanted in nyc. I hope SMFA dosen't ruin that plan for me or the chances of getting in to Harvard arch school (aye).

I also really want to make pancakes but we never have baking soda :( because my mom is cuban and cubans dont buy things needed for baking they just buy flour and eggs.

ALSO: if anyone knows someone that needs a roomate in boston.. I still dont have a place to live.

Back

2009-06-04T11:41:00.001-07:00

These are some works ive done that have been document, alot havent been.

some old work i found on the way:

Im back on here i guess it's been a while, I helped david move into his new apartment in NYC and spent two weeks there with him. Now we're both back in Miami. I have a lot of work I didn't get to update on my damn blog alot got lost in nyc which is really depressing but whatever I try not to get attached. So here is some work:

anselm kiefer: the seven heavenly palaces

2009-05-01T14:56:00.000-07:00

2009-05-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

jackson pollok and lee kesner

2009-04-20T09:50:00.001-07:00

what do u want

liek if it was ur perfect world

12:54 PM

doing architecture

and art

and design

like right now i wanna make a collection

in the summer

i dont hate fashion

who says i cant like fashion just cuz i dont wanna major in it

i like other things too

ppl think im like some angsty person like ew fashion no i like it i just hate how ppl think its this thing that its not

it a genuis thing not a superficial one

this weekend

2009-04-12T23:36:00.000-07:00

i went to an anaarchist book fair which was really cool. On sunday i went to coney island with david and kris. david won me a gold fish and then kris bought me another baby one to be his friend and then david bought this insane aquiarium and my sea monkeys are growing.. i have a zoo here with only a month left of school...

ughghireoi i just got out of class early got a good crit and my zine is a finalist to be sold at forbidden planet which is awsummmmm. and i really dont want to go to english i feel like imm gonn die in that class its soo long and it dragssss onnnnn foreverrrr

2009-04-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

to do:

3d model ( found objects)

2 11 x 17 pages book?

book of umbrella project documented

include last weeks drawings

write paper on the ethics of bad writing..

bind another 2d book

try photo copying it to be b&w

chewing smoothie

2009-04-10T12:42:00.000-07:00

I am so sad

2009-04-05T01:17:00.000-07:00

2009-04-02T19:41:00.000-07:00

reality destroys me

2009-04-02T09:37:00.000-07:00

a stomach

i am ungrateful, self less, confused, attached, and emotional. That is why I am so indecisive. I keep thinking I use to hate New York and complain, i also keep thinking about how I will miss my new york, east village, st marks, union square, strand, yoga, 13th and 5th, valentinos, the coffee truck, broadway, bobst library,trader joes, and all the people that i've met and gotten closer to.

2009-03-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Andrea:

Congratulations on declaring your major!!!

You are officially a rising sophomore in Fine Arts.

Stupid email. I think majors are stupid too.

new work

2009-03-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

I'm back with more. This is a study I've been thinking about it's a transformation of an umbrella. I took apart a black umbrella into every single one of its parts and from that i made drawing tools and with those i made drawings.

spring break

2009-03-19T22:50:00.000-07:00

my grandmother as a dinasour

after my girly make over- my cousin washed and brushed all my knots out and cut my dread lock out... sad and painful and then she did the dreaded straightening of the hair, not typical of me but it felt so soft and nice

reason i went to the doctor because i thought it was ringworm- but it wasnt but i still bought cream for it.. 8 bucks :/

rugula

me and rug connecting

kissing

scars

summer clothes!

new do' , no bang-age

experimental middle part

david brought me flowers

2009-03-11T11:39:00.000-07:00

i was lonely and then david suprized me downstairs i love him so much

what i did while i was sick in bed

2009-03-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

title: bleeding from my eyes

title eyes over my eyes

title: being rugula
Title: teeth over lips
title: andrea hanging out with andrea
title: i am a fish
title: soul leaving body 2 with cellphone
title: soul leaving body
sick day 3

sick day 2
sick day1

2009-03-07T20:16:00.000-08:00

im sick. Headache chills stmach ache im not even hungry im alone in my room. waiting for something, maybe a call from david i dont really know. i want to work on my umbrella transformation but my pounding headache wont stop. I have no new work to show today. Today has been a waste, I want to go home. David sucks this weekend. I suck, I dnt know what i want.

I just wanna make art and be happy and have a place to live with positive ppl who i can call my friends, its not that hard.

nirvana- stay away

2009-03-06T08:04:00.001-08:00

New documented books of sculptures.

I haven't seen david in two days 2 nights.

Ive been living in a k-hole

2009-03-04T22:42:00.000-08:00

once again I feel completely alone. Like everyone has this big life with all these plans. I don't know where or who I'm going to live with in New York or Boston, I dont even know where Im going. David has his own life and it dosent involve me so I should just stop planning around him. My friends don't really care, I'll probabyl end up living alone and being in the same fucking boat.
Im really sick of being so nice to everyone and always listening to them when they need me, I'm not going to anymore fuck you when I need you most, this is bullshit.

new work

2009-03-02T18:01:00.000-08:00

2009-02-26T14:17:00.001-08:00

I've been stressed with a heavy workload and college transfer applications. The contact mic works I made it last night. Here is an AIM conversation about contact mics with my brother ( while i was making the mic and taking to david on the phone at the same time.)

I hope david didnt fuck it up.

document

2009-02-22T22:00:00.000-08:00

I want to stay in New York in the month of june and work in Chelsea in a contemp book store or something. I Don't really know what else I want to do other than that and Israel. I want to see my parents and hang out in the Miami sun too. Thinking about miami makes me really emotional, because I know I will never go back to things being like when i was little it'll always be like going to visit my parents. Growing up is weird.I also can't think about parting with David.

2009-02-21T15:12:00.000-08:00

my sculpture is done I had my crit. I have to do another one. I think it is going to be 80% less labor intensive. I need an engineer to help me do the tech work. Im going to attach 4 piezo transducer disks to the tips of my fingers and make contact mics so the act of whatever comes incontact with my fingers is amplified ( sound). But anyway today has been very unrpoductive, I walked through the east village (2nd ave) and bought jeans for $30 and had an iced coffee in the cold.

study

2009-02-19T12:17:00.000-08:00

I'm going to install a contact mic using a piezo for the performance.

thats my update its rly nice outside but i have a lot of work to do bla

2009-02-17T22:52:00.001-08:00

2nd note to self

2009-02-17T00:05:00.000-08:00

brokenpants.com/?page_id=94

note to self

2009-02-16T22:56:00.000-08:00

home.earthlink.net/~erinys/contactmic.html

2009-02-12T14:58:00.000-08:00

PARSONS IS SHIT DONT EVER GO THERE FOR ANYTHING DONT EVEN EVER VISIT

2009-02-09T05:54:00.000-08:00

This is kind of cool, for David and I and anyone else who is currently exploring the pyramid:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,262981,00.html

bad brains helps

2009-02-09T05:47:00.000-08:00

Life is fucking weird. So I don't get what I've wanted and have been waiting for, what now? Do I leave, I dont know. I just ask my parents to help me decide but they insist I'll know when my mind is clear.

I don't know, I never realized trying to just do art would stress me out so much. I just want what i want its not so much.

Sometimes I think though, about how people judge you based on the school you go, the truth is I care, and thats too bad.

we can wake to a new begging and tomorrow, I'll all but have lost their faces

2009-02-07T14:30:00.000-08:00

I started working.

2009-02-07T13:43:00.000-08:00

I feel terrible.

2009-02-05T14:00:00.003-08:00

I don't think I've ever heard the words " you're making the biggest mistake of your life" but I think I it should have been said.

I don't feel anything about this whole situation anymore, I want to be a normal kid going to school being happy working and being not happy sometimes i accept that that happens anywhere and everywhere. I am going to school everyday feeling okay, but it's not okay come next month I need to decide what I am going to do instead of coming back to this "hell hole". I am trying to have faith I had a while ago. All i can ask is please?

2009-01-26T16:12:00.001-08:00

I cannot begin to explain how alone I feel here. Yeah, I have a single room and it's great to not worry about a bitch roommate but I cannot deal with this constant ball in my throat every hour and crying a little every hour. Today was the first day of school... I don't know what I'm going to do for work when there isn't any strength to push myself. Today I haven't eaten anything just half a cup of tea and my stomach hurts but I'm too nervous to eat.

Not this again. I hope that I can spend time with my friends more. I know none of my friends/ David reads this but if I could I would say: I am sorry. I am sorry for being a downer and complaining. Thank you for being there when I call, even though no one could today I am being forced to deal with it alone. I am sorry for acting like I take everything I have for granted and wanting what others have. I am sorry for comparing myself to you and others when everyones lives take different courses.

I cannot wait for change in my mind and in my environment, I need it so badly. I also need a friend I see consistently :(.

2009-01-24T23:02:00.000-08:00

I shouldn't care but I do. " I'd rather be with you than go to the party." Yeah? then why are you there and not here with me?

2009-01-20T22:40:00.000-08:00

I'm trying really hard not to get crazy, but I feel it, it's there in my chest and I'm not even in New York yet.

David and I had the best month together and I feel like I just lost him. I haven't heard from him all day.

Strokes are weird, I always thought they were like heart attacks. Incidentally, my heart hurts right now not like heart burn though, I think it comes when I get upset or when I get anxiety. I hate it.

today

2009-01-19T23:16:00.000-08:00

2009-01-19T10:25:00.000-08:00

I like these. I think it's really interesting to find something so designed in a natural environment. I want to think about this and I just want to start working and thinking already. I'm ready for a place that I can do this in, I don't need to be wasting anymore time being depressed doing work I dread and going to classes I get bad grades in because I only do enough work to get by. I can't stand this super worked feeling of doing these mindless tasks.

I think if I were to be in the situation where I had to produce work I would be confident enough to develop ideas it doesn't even matter if they're "good" or not. I don't care. I don't care if anyone thinks they're good or bad or stupid or underdeveloped because it's my own perception of xyz. I think people need to think about that too, time is wasted on other perceptions instead of your own when no one gives a shit about your work anyway they probably don't even care what its about they care about what they see.. and that final product sometimes doesn't even matter. Blah, I may never even get anywhere at this place and that makes me feel like I'm not moving forward only staying still. Please let me find my place.

2009-01-17T00:09:00.000-08:00

The world is weird. I think about how things are possible sometimes anything is possible if you really want it, I believe that. I've been looking at spiders recently I found one in my shower a daddy long legs and I turned the water on and its legs straightened out it was imprecionante.

2009-01-15T22:22:00.000-08:00

I realize that you cannot be happy and make people happy at the same time. It is very weird and confusing to explain. My mom likes to guilt me when I go out since I am only home for a month she would be very happy if I sat in the living room and watched tv all day while she worked in her table/kitchen/ laundry room. I don't know, never mind.

I don't want to go to New York but at the same time, being alone is healthy for me.

2009-01-13T17:59:00.000-08:00

My head hurts and I wish I cared about little things other people care about, but I don't and that is probably better for me.

2009-01-03T23:34:00.001-08:00

I need to start sleeping at night and being awake before 3pm. My mind isn't clear.